As far as I can tell, my college experience was pretty standard. I attended classes sparsely, drank my weight in Milwaukee’s Best each weekend, and I remember more from the football games than from my lectures*. Through all of the drunken keggers, the football tailgates, the costume parties, and the dorm room blowouts, I have racked up a pretty significant count of memorable stories**. However, the story I am about to tell you is special. This is a tale of friendship and of overcoming the odds. This story, is the story of my first night at college:
*From what I can tell, the most marketable skill that I picked up was a familiarity with Microsoft Excel, which now dominates my life. For that, I’m tens of thousands of dollars in debt. At least I went to a public school.
**Some of them I even remember.
Office humor!? Boooooooo
I know. It’s been done. A lot. No one ever said we were pioneers on this site.
Fridays often bring about a strong sense of thankfulness. The week is finally over; you can get back out there and do whatever you fancy for your too-short weekend (Joey is partial to gardening.) Most of all, it gets you away from these people for a few days:
Advice you never asked for by someone who probably shouldn’t be providing any...
If you live in the Mid-West or Mid-Atlantic areas, there’s a good chance you had a strange weekend. For those of you outside the area who haven’t been keeping up with the weather around the nation’s capital*, some weird shit went down. Thanks to some record breaking heat, everyone in the DMV area learned what a Derecho is. Essentially, it’s a heat and humidity fueled storm that acts like a tornado if the wind doesn’t swirl. Popular accounts, including my own**, tell of a storm that appears suddenly, with little or no warning. Out of nowhere come winds as strong as 80-90 MPH. Within minutes, the rain and lightning start, followed by the massive power outages. Finally, the storm disappears after only a few minutes, as suddenly as it appeared.
*You mean Washington DC isn’t the center of the universe? Who knew?
**That’s right, I think I’m popular.
If you’ll permit me, I’m going to get sappy for a minute. I had a lot of reasons that I wanted to hold the Groomsman Games. The competition was as great, as expected. The shit-talking was epic and endless (as you can tell from the recaps and the comments, we’ll get a lot of milage out of this). However, the number one reason that I wanted to host the Games was the company. These guys have been the best of friends and it didn’t feel quite right to shortchange any of them by simply elevating one and putting the rest underneath him. Instead, the Games gave us an opportunity to share some really great times with some great friends and make memories that will last a lifetime.
Alright, that’s enough sap for one recap. Below you will find the Groomsman Games recap in superlative form:
My first house out of college was far from perfect. Mistake number one was agreeing to live with Bart, McCannon, and Rudy. That poor decision speaks for itself. Mistake number two was agreeing to live with a girl*. We had plenty of other issues, not the least of which was our completely useless central heating and cooling system and our insane next door neighbor**. The house did offer one crucial characteristic that was 99% of the reason for us moving in: Location. Our house was smack in the middle of Arlington, VA – at the time, considered the best place in America to be rich and single – and less than half a mile from O’Sullivan’s Irish Pub.
I’d like to start by giving credit where credit is due. The Groomsman Games concept initially entered our consciousness in a mailbag by ESPN’s Bill Simmons:
I love betting. Mostly because I love the thrill of winning and I love to compete. This is the crux of betting. There should be no tie, there is a winner and a loser and in our society of giving everyone medals and certificates of participation, having a clear winner or loser is rare. If you win, you are on cloud 9. Nothing is wrong in the world, you outfoxed, outwitted, and outplayed your opponent and are now the winner. I’m getting butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. This excitement and burning desire to win is what drives me to gamble (money is just a bonus if you’re successful), and to bet with my friends on literally anything. I’d like to share a couple of my completed and ongoing bets with Rudy.