I follow no formal code, creed, religion, or dogma. I try to live my life by being a good person for the sake of being a good person. I try my best to treat others with respect. I also demand justice. You may ask, Joe, what is your guiding light? Who taught you how to demand justice and do right by those you were sworn to protect? How did you become such a ridiculously handsome, charming billionaire philanthropist? And to that, I say, that’s easy: Batman.
The Dark Knight movies are akin to a religious experience for me. They are as close as I get to feeling spiritually connected to the universe and my fellow man. The feeling I get while experiencing these movies is hard to articulate, quantify, or to even understand. It transcends any feeble human experience and proceeds to blow my feakin’ mind every time I watch. I saw the second installment, The Dark Knight, four times in theatres in the span of two weeks. I secretly have an altar hidden in my attic dedicated to the greatest director of all time, Christopher Nolan. Yeah I said it. I dare you to look at his IMDB resume and tell me you don’t like one of his movies. I DARE YOU!
Because of this connection, nay obsession, the four year long wait for the final chapter of the Caped Crusader’s escapades has been excruciatingly painful for me. Luckily, Christopher Nolan came out with the greatest movie of all time, Inception*, in between The Dark Knight and The Dark Night Rises. But I could not wait to sink my teeth into another juicy chapter of Bruce Wayne’s struggle to either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain. I won’t go into the details of what makes Batman, particularly Nolan and Bale’s interpretation of him, the best, most conflicted, and interesting superhero of all time. But if you are not excited for this movie, you are either dead or a Nazi.
*Inception being number one, and The Dark Knight being number two.
So when my college roommate, and one of my best friends since kindergarten, suggested that we go see the marathon showing on Thursday (where they play the first and second movies back to back with the finale being the midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises), I could barely contain my jubilation. It recalled me back to the time I lost my virginity and the excitement I felt leading up to that moment. The difference is, The Dark Knight Rises will actually deliver and won’t be a resounding disappointment to everyone involved. My friend planned his whole entire vacation around us seeing this movie together. I planned my compressed work schedule, where I get to take every other Friday off, around this event. And guess what? HE BAILED ON ME TWO DAYS BEFORE HAND AND IS GOING TO FUCKING GERMANY. So, today, I learned that my best friend is in fact, a Nazi.
But as they say in show business, the show must go on. Problem is, because he bailed so late and lives in Georgia, there is no way I can get his ticket and give it to a lucky female who then would accompany me. So the plan is to go to the marathon alone. Yes I realize how pathetic it sounds that a grown man is going to go sit in a movie theater without any of his friends for nine hours to watch a man in a bat suit fly around screen. But people have done crazier things for their religion. Without further ado, here is my review/diary of The Dark Knight Marathon.
Advice you never asked for from someone who probably shouldn’t be providing any…
Superhero movies are back in full force this summer. Two weeks ago, The Amazing Spider-Man swung into box offices, raking in over $200 million domestically and proving audiences don’t mind the super-fast series reboot.
While Spidey’s success is impressive, the year’s earlier superhero blockbuster, Marvel’s The Avengers made $200 million its first weekend, becoming the largest domestic opening weekend in history. The Avengers has gone on to make $613 million in North America, settling in as the 3rd highest domestic box office draw in history.
But if you think we’ve already seen the year’s high water mark, hold on to your butts. We here at The PO Life fully expect The Avengers’ box office record to fall faster than the Spider-Man series was rebranded when the incredibly successful Batman trilogy concludes this weekend with the release of The Dark Knight Rises .
To prep for the weekend’s wild ride, I’m here to tackle a topic of great dispute among comic book readers: What makes a superhero great?
I’m missing three weddings in the next 6 months. Not just any weddings. These are weddings I actually care about. I’m not talking about, oh yah I sorta know you, and you’re throwing a big ass wedding so I’m getting an invite, I’m talking about legitimate people who matter to me. These are all the things I’m missing because I’m deployed.