My first house out of college was far from perfect. Mistake number one was agreeing to live with Bart, McCannon, and Rudy. That poor decision speaks for itself. Mistake number two was agreeing to live with a girl*. We had plenty of other issues, not the least of which was our completely useless central heating and cooling system and our insane next door neighbor**. The house did offer one crucial characteristic that was 99% of the reason for us moving in: Location. Our house was smack in the middle of Arlington, VA – at the time, considered the best place in America to be rich and single – and less than half a mile from O’Sullivan’s Irish Pub.
*Don’t get my wrong, she was a great roommate. The downside was that her presence meant that I had to share one bathroom with the three stooges mentioned above.
**I’m not saying we were a dream to live next to. I probably wouldn’t have put up with most of our shit. However, this lady was batshit crazy. She thought we were being too loud the first week we lived there, so instead of calling or knocking on the door, she walked straight into the house. We had never met her before so this behavior was more than a little offputting.
O’Sullivan’s hosts a pub quiz every Wednesday that we started attending the week we moved in. Some subset of us has been going nearly every week for two and a half years. We don’t always win, but “Crap Factory” has been well represented at trivia on a regular basis. The trivia rules are pretty simple. There are four rounds: the first two are general knowledge questions. Each correct answer is worth one point. As Paddy (the host) would say, “some of them are easy, some of them not so easy, and some of them down right difficult.” The third round of questions is the music round. Paddy sings “a tiny, tiny bit of each song.” The answer to each question is the original artist who wrote or performed the song. Also, just because Paddy is singing the songs, they are worth “double points*.” The fourth and final round is a movie round. Paddy reads a quote from a movie, and the objective is to name that movie. Also, like the music round, these are also worth “double points**.” If you haven’t been to O’Sullivan’s Trivia, I suggest you try it. The trivia is fun, the atmosphere is relaxed, the staff is friendly, and – let’s be honest – you don’t have anything better to do on a Wednesday night.
For purposes of the Groomsman Games, the choice was pretty obvious. Each person made up a one-man team. The final standings of the event were in the order of the standings for each individual’s score.
- Rudolph – 10 points
- McCannon – 7 points
- Alan – 5 points
- Elijah – 3 points
- Bart – 2 points
- Clifford – 1 point
1. McCannon – 24 points
2. Elijah – 15 points
3. Alan – 14 points
T-4. Bart – 12 points
T-4. Rudolph – 12 points
6. Clifford – 7 points
Testimonial from the Winner – Rudolph – Today we spell redemption R.U.D.Y. As you can tell by now, the Groomsmen Games was a feast or famine experience for me. With my back in the corner after two consecutive last place finishes to start off this clash of the titans, it was time to release the kraken. Everyone knew coming into this competition that Trivia Night was mine to lose. The fact is, I’m just smarter than the rest of the crew. And, through the encouragement of my besties Sir Guinness and Dr. Miller, I was on top of my game for Trivia Night.
Yet, I give credit where credit is due. McCannon and Al were hot on my tail the entire night. Going into the fourth and final round (double points!), we were tasked with identifying blockbuster features by their tagline, rather than the traditional movie quotes we’re normally accustomed to. The difference came down to one final tagline, which I pose to you now:
“After a night they’ll never remember, comes a day they’ll never forget”
To the uneducated swine, this may seem as a slam dunk. 2009’s hit comedy, The Hangover, aligns perfectly with this tagline. Or does it? In actuality, the “day they’ll never forget” in Hangover is actually two days. The tagline in question actually belongs to one of finest pieces of American cinema – Dude, Where’s My Car? Yes, this movie. Many were not able to name this 2001 Teen Choice Award for Best Comedy, possibly due to the fact that the movie itself is a mystery. And that mystery is only exceeded by its power. Its power to isolate me as the sole winner of this competition. Unfortunately, this event was not worth double points, so I would still have work to do from here.
Random Side Note: I came in third in trivia overall that night. Not in just the Groomsmen Games but rather out of every person that played in the bar that night. Including one team of nine people. Do what you want with that factoid.
Testimonial from the Loser – Cliff – I know this is where I should be a gracious loser, and highlight how smart my friends all are and give them props for doing such a good job, but that’s just not how this is going to go down. I’m smarter than all of them (except MAYBE Eli) and that’s just sheer intellect. The proof will come in event #10 btw. So instead I’m going to list the reasons this event was complete hax0r and make excuses.
My Sour Grapes:
1) As Eli mentions, they’ve been going to this trivia for over 2 years… They all admitted afterwards that they had each heard several of the questions before, and thus clearly knew the answers… I decided to actually move away from NOVA and do something with my life so I did not have the chance to spend my weekdays getting hammered playing trivia.
2) I’m pretty sure Bart slipped something into my drink. We got there early, I had my head turned for a while, he could have done it easily. This is sort of his style anyway, and I believe in fact this is how he first got his current girlfriend. There is no other explanation than that she was in some way mentally impaired.
3) They are all cheaters. They know the bartenders, they know regulars at the bar, there is not a doubt in my mind people were helping them…
Though my victory in a later intellect-based GG was enough to assuage my anguish from this loss, I think the only way I can truly feel better about myself, is after I destroy all of the fellow GG players in a game that is the only true test of one’s knowledge… Trivial Pursuit. I’m not talking about the most recent, 25th Anniversary Addition Trivial Pursuit, where Hasbro sold out and made the questions easy. I’m talking about the old version of Trivial Pursuit, where you could play for 5 hours and the winning team has 3 pie pieces, several teams have none, and the game is truly just an intellectual beat down where the winner is simply the person who won’t give up and go to sleep. You’re all officially challenged.
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