Tagged: nfl

You, Me, and RGIII: The Indisputable Case for RGIII as NFL Rookie of the Year

Welcome back bitches! While we were out gallivanting, saving the word from destruction, causing an overall raucous, and completely neglecting our dear readers, a lot has happened to our cherished Robert Griffin DA Third. He was named offensive captain of the Washington Redskins, led the team to 7 straight wins, won a divisional title, and brought hope to all football fans in America. Notice I didn’t say “hope for all football fans in Washington, DC.” RGIII is so great he literally gives all football fans hope of a better NFL.

He also tore his ACL and MCL, was involved in one of the biggest on-field controversies in recent sport, lost his first NFL playoff game, and underwent a complete knee reconstruction. Today, however, I do not want to talk about that time when even Stevie Wonder was screaming at Mike Shannahan to take Griff out of the game. That argument has been done to death. Today, I am going to give you the indisputable case for RGIII as Rookie of the Year.

With the NFL Award Season rapidly approaching, I thought today would be a perfect time to reflect on the season that RGIII had and why he deserved Rookie of the Year. A couple things before I start. We must first remember that ROY is an award for the entirety of the regular season. All 16 games count, from Week 1 to Week 17. The playoffs do not have anything to do with the award. Secondly, I realize that I am the most biased person in the world, excluding Robert Griffin Sr., to write this article. This is no exaggeration; after just one season, RGIII has vaulted Juan Dixon, Gilbert Arenas, and Sean Taylor as my favorite athlete of all time. That is no small feat in just 17 weeks. But I will do my best to ensure that my bias doesn’t play into the argument. Finally, I will try focus on why RGIII deserves the award; not as much why Russell Wilson and Andrew Luck do not deserve this award. They are both great players and would probably have won the award in any other year. But this year they have Black Gesus to compete with. Without further ado:

Not shown: Joey Greenthumb pleasuring himself in the corner.

Not shown: Joey Greenthumb pleasuring himself in the corner.

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You, Me, and RGIII

You, Me, and RGIII:

Your weekly recap of the biggest thing to hit Washington since George.

RGIII is really, really good.  But you don’t need me to tell you that.  Every news source, fantasy league, NFL analyst, and Baylor alumn has talked him up all season and guess what?  He is even better than expected.  Few things are actually as good as advertised:  Lebron, Season II of Game of Thrones*#, Doritos Locos Tacos, and now – RGIII.  RGIII performs under both the stat geek analysis as well as that strange Jon Grudenesque analysis:  “DOES THIS GUY HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO PLAY THE MOST IMPORTANT POSITION ON THE FIELD IN THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE” which is generally half grunted from a guy wearing a terrible suit accompanied with a power knot.

Is there a single person who actually likes Mark Schlereth? Honestly?

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You, Me, and RGIII – A Football Move to the Dark Side

Your weekly recap of the biggest thing to hit Washington since George.

“Only a Sith deals in absolutes.”

I really didn’t want to kick start our weekly RGIII/Redskins commentary with a quote from a Star Wars prequel, but it was unavoidable. Life demands overarching rules (like not quoting any George Lucas film directed after 1977) that apply to all situations. It frees yourself of knee-jerk reactions based on emotional reasoning. And, according to Obi-Wan, it puts you on the path to shooting lightning out of your hands. Which is fucking awesome.

One of my absolutes relates to sports. From an early age, I determined that I should always keep a finite list of athletes that I could never rationalize donning my favorite team’s colors. This list, officially dubbed the Sith List, would certainly turn over as time progressed, funneling out aging veterans in the twilight of their careers and cycling in young guns that will serve as my outlet for voicing pent up, misdirected frustration for years to come. In the event that any of my teams would ever trade for one of these players, I would turn on my master, the only family I’ve ever had, and the society that brought me in as one of their own. I would become a Sith.

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