On this week’s edition of Kno Yo PO, we face our sexual confusions head on with a deep examination of the one known only, and rightfully, as “Joey Greenthumb”:
1. Which Ninja Turtle are you and why?
Joey: It’s a tough call between Donatello and Michelangelo. I do connect with Michelangelo’s free spirit, comedic relief, and crazy love for pizza, but I am not sure about his “I’m so Cali” vibe. Donatello is very much a thinker and problem solver, and seems to be very introspective, which I think is a good way to describe me. But I think the tie-breaker has to be Michelangelo’s nunchakus. So bad ass! I would fuck some dudes up with that.
The PO Life:
Eli: Joey, if you are anything it is a “party dude.” I’ve also seen what happens when you are anywhere near a pizza in “party mode.” Lets be honest though, if you busted out the nunchuks you would do more damage to yourself than any other “dudes” out there.
Mac: Sober = Donatello. Drunk = Raphael. Demanding justice left and right, being a rude dude, dropping a semi swear (“Damnnnnnnn!!!” with a zoom-out to show the full city) in a children’s movie.
Cliff: I have to counter Eli’s argument, I can see you laying waste to hordes of footmen with your nunchakus (that can’t be how that is spelled) so I think Michelangelo is the best fit.
2. If financial means/social connections weren’t an issue, how high up on the Maxim Hot 100 list could you get with?
The first few months of dating someone are never easy. It’s the time in the relationship when you’ve already laid pipe, yet still know absolutely nothing about one another. As perfect as this may seem, there are many other complicating factors. You have to ease away from the person you’ve been pretending to be, while slowly allowing them to realize you are not actually the kind of guy that opens a gal’s car door – “Yes…I did that to get to your goods.” Another complicating situation we’re all familiar with comes at the point when you’ve slept together once or twice and your penis starts to excrete that green slime.