Advice you never asked for by someone who probably shouldn’t be providing any...
“[Beer Pong] is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.” – Yogi Berra
“I see great things in [Beer Pong]. It’s our game – the American game.” – Walt Whitman
These quotes may have been slightly tweaked, but their wisdom rings just as true, if not truer, than their original forms.
Let’s get this out of the way: Beer Pong is great. I recognize it, you recognize it, Walt fuckin’ Whitman recognized it. I know what you’re thinking: This McCannon fellow is on to something…I love beer pong. At the same time I’ve accepted the fact that my game is absolute slop and I’m doomed to embarrass myself once I finally get on the table* at any party.
* “Nah, dude, you’re next after next after NEXT…after next.”
Cut this defeatist, un-American bullshit right now. Anyone can learn to rip up competition on a beer pong table. All you need is this ONE WEIRD TRICK! It’s driving all the scientists crazy!
I woke up this morning after a night of drinking at the house. Went outside to clean up any abandoned cans of beer people may have left, only to come across several drunken friends in the front yard.
Slugs. Overwhelmed by their desire for the sauce, these slugs abandoned all hopes of a life long and happy for that of one ending in a night of binge drinking. Slugs love beer. Apparently they were real desperate to fall off the wagon, as their beer of choice on this evening was Natty Light.
Why has such a fate fallen down upon these creatures? Why would evolution do this to them? Perhaps, these slugs were simply all adolescents, experiencing alcohol for the first time like I did in high school. Perhaps their deaths, and all other slug deaths worldwide are due to a lack of control slugs have for the sauce. Do they have rehab facilities for slugs who survive the bender?