Welcome back bitches! While we were out gallivanting, saving the word from destruction, causing an overall raucous, and completely neglecting our dear readers, a lot has happened to our cherished Robert Griffin DA Third. He was named offensive captain of the Washington Redskins, led the team to 7 straight wins, won a divisional title, and brought hope to all football fans in America. Notice I didn’t say “hope for all football fans in Washington, DC.” RGIII is so great he literally gives all football fans hope of a better NFL.
He also tore his ACL and MCL, was involved in one of the biggest on-field controversies in recent sport, lost his first NFL playoff game, and underwent a complete knee reconstruction. Today, however, I do not want to talk about that time when even Stevie Wonder was screaming at Mike Shannahan to take Griff out of the game. That argument has been done to death. Today, I am going to give you the indisputable case for RGIII as Rookie of the Year.
With the NFL Award Season rapidly approaching, I thought today would be a perfect time to reflect on the season that RGIII had and why he deserved Rookie of the Year. A couple things before I start. We must first remember that ROY is an award for the entirety of the regular season. All 16 games count, from Week 1 to Week 17. The playoffs do not have anything to do with the award. Secondly, I realize that I am the most biased person in the world, excluding Robert Griffin Sr., to write this article. This is no exaggeration; after just one season, RGIII has vaulted Juan Dixon, Gilbert Arenas, and Sean Taylor as my favorite athlete of all time. That is no small feat in just 17 weeks. But I will do my best to ensure that my bias doesn’t play into the argument. Finally, I will try focus on why RGIII deserves the award; not as much why Russell Wilson and Andrew Luck do not deserve this award. They are both great players and would probably have won the award in any other year. But this year they have Black Gesus to compete with. Without further ado:
You, Me, and RGIII:
Your weekly recap of the biggest thing to hit Washington since George.
RGIII is really, really good. But you don’t need me to tell you that. Every news source, fantasy league, NFL analyst, and Baylor alumn has talked him up all season and guess what? He is even better than expected. Few things are actually as good as advertised: Lebron, Season II of Game of Thrones*#, Doritos Locos Tacos, and now – RGIII. RGIII performs under both the stat geek analysis as well as that strange Jon Grudenesque analysis: “DOES THIS GUY HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO PLAY THE MOST IMPORTANT POSITION ON THE FIELD IN THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE” which is generally half grunted from a guy wearing a terrible suit accompanied with a power knot.
Your weekly recap of the biggest thing to hit Washington since George.
In last week’s installment of, “You, me, and RGIII,” we heard from Rudy, a Redskins fan in his absolute infancy waxing poetic on his coming over to the ‘dark side*’ of things and joining in Skins nation. He was high on burgundy-infused touchdowns and drunk on our golden boy, Robert Griffin III. Things could not have started off better for Rudy or the several thousand other bandwagon fans that are jumping on the RGIII-led train. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for the new fans. When was the last time anybody ever wanted to join the Redskins bandwagon? When was the last time this town was as excited for a season as this? Keep them coming! But seriously, if you jump on after this year, you will forever be considered fake and I will never accept your fandom as legitimate.
*How anybody could pretend being a Redskins fan nowadays as being part of the dark side is beyond me. We have been irrelevant for what feels like centuries, we have a new charismatic superstar who is supposed to bring balance to the force, and our owner is a maniacal, power hungry leader. Wait, shit….
I, on the other hand, am a hardened, bitter, but eternally optimistic Redskins veteran. And predictably, the Redskins brought me to the highest high I have felt for years to then proceed to tear out my heart, Temple of Doom style, all over again. Will I ever learn? Probably not, but that is half the fun.
Rudy learned his first tough lesson in the second game of the season: a small part of what it truly means to be a Redskins fan. After jumping to a 21-6 lead, the burgundy and gold proceeded to shit the bed against a bad team and give away the game in the last 35 minutes with a blocked punt, a Swiss cheese defense that Merkyll and I could have torn apart playing flag football, and one of the most boneheaded plays in recent NFL memory. Welcome aboard Rudy! It’s pretty much this way for 17 weeks a year.
As far as our boy RGIII is concerned? Well, he came to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and fortunately, he was all out of bubble gum. He ended the day with 288 yards of total offense with 3 TD’s, but also threw a rookie-like interception. As a fan, I could not be more excited for the prospects in the future with this kid. He is electric, dynamic, strong, blazingly fast, and an absolute leader on the field. Off the field, he is charismatic, enthralling, personable, and overall a pretty humble kid. There is literally nothing not to like about him. Now, we just have to hope that he stays healthy for his career, something he won’t be able to do if he keeps getting hit like he has these past two weeks.
I think next week will be a good test of RGIII and his resiliency. Will he be able to bounce back from a tough loss and a game that the Redskins should have won? Will he be able to avoid the big hits he took the past two weeks and look to protect himself more? Will he win 2, 3, or 4 Super Bowls in his first 5 years on the Redskins? Only time will tell. Until next week fans, keep on Griffining!
I’m a diehard Redskins fan. I always have been and I always will be. Two of my earliest sports memories involve the Redskins; my dad taking me to my first pro sports event, a Redskins game at RFK Stadium and me crying after a Redskins loss to the Cardinals in a meaningless regular season game when I was around 8 years old. As big of a Nationals fan, Capitals fan, and Wizards fan as I am, the Redskins always come first. Yes, I am one of those kids that has stupid superstitions involving lucky jerseys, watching the game alone, and the fact that I can’t leave the house during a game or they WILL lose. It is unfortunate, however, that I have never experienced them as a winning franchise. During their last Superbowl win in 1991, I was still shitting myself. I hadn’t even discovered that I had a penis yet.
Unlike all of the fake-ass Cowboy fans in the area who only liked the Cowgirls because they won Superbowls in their formative years, I have suffered through the absolute worst period of Redskins fandom. Every year I get my hopes up for something special to happen. Steve Spurrier is coming to town!? Well we have to win at least 9 games! Holy shit, Albert Haynesworth is going to be anchoring our defensive line for the next 8 years!? Superbowl, here we come! Trung Candidate is our starting RB!? TITS! The Redskins have an uncanny ability to be the offseason champs and then stomp all over their fans hearts with disappointing season after disappointing season. But things can’t always be this bad, right? Eventually they have to turn it around, right? Well this year feels different. There actually are things to get my hopes up about. Without further ado, and now with more Po Life bloggers than ever on the Redskins bandwagon (Rudy welcome aboard!), I give you the 5 reasons to be excited about being a Redskins fan this year.