You, Me, and RGIII

You, Me, and RGIII:

Your weekly recap of the biggest thing to hit Washington since George.

RGIII is really, really good.  But you don’t need me to tell you that.  Every news source, fantasy league, NFL analyst, and Baylor alumn has talked him up all season and guess what?  He is even better than expected.  Few things are actually as good as advertised:  Lebron, Season II of Game of Thrones*#, Doritos Locos Tacos, and now – RGIII.  RGIII performs under both the stat geek analysis as well as that strange Jon Grudenesque analysis:  “DOES THIS GUY HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO PLAY THE MOST IMPORTANT POSITION ON THE FIELD IN THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE” which is generally half grunted from a guy wearing a terrible suit accompanied with a power knot.

Is there a single person who actually likes Mark Schlereth? Honestly?

As Eli convincingly noted in last week’s installment of You, Me, and RGIII, the best thing RGIII has brought to Washington is hope.  The 2012 Redskins probably won’t make the playoffs – but that doesn’t seem as disappointing as it would’ve in past years.  Instead, the two losses this season have felt like stepping stones in what promises to be a career filled with winning seasons, playoff runs, and endless subway commercials.

A useful way to assess the performance of RGIII this year is to put things into perspective.  It feels like ages ago, but in August of 2011 there was a legitimate debate in Washington on whether John Beck or Rex Grossman was a better quarterback.  Neither of them turned out to be even remotely productive by any measurably football statistic.  Shocker.

Because we here at the PO Life enjoy measurable football statistics, we will gauge RGIII’s game on Sunday by categorizing some plays into two straightforward statistics:  (1) Plays above Rex Grossman, and (2) Shit Only RGIII could do.

(1) (1st Quarter) 10:47 – successfully hands off to Alfred Morris – 1 PARG

(2) (1st Quarter) 10:00 – a side arm sling incomplete pass – 1 SORGIIICD

  • all the more ironic, considering Rex was a side arm slinger.


(2) (1st Quarter) 4:00 – RGII drops back, scrambles, drop pass to Fullback Darell Young for 24 yard gain.  2 SORGIIICD

  • this was the first clear “wow” play of the game.  Broken plays turned positive happen with very few QBS consistently.

(2) (1st Quarter) 2:10:  RGIII Jump pass to Fred Davis while he gets hit – about 15 yards from another broken play. 3 SORGIIICD

  • Another broken play turned positive.  Doesn’t it feel like Fred Davis should be better?

(2) Final 10 seconds of the first quarter: RGIII bolts for the end zone, then strategically guides the ball to Garcon by fumbling it.  Touchdown.  4 SORGIIICD

  • The old fumble forward routine.  Strangely underrated approach but no one questions RGIII’s novelty.

(1) (2nd Quarter) 13:47 – RGIII play action to Garcon on the run.  2 PARG

(2nd Quarter): Papa Bear won’t turn the channel from the Ryder cup (who can blame him?).  Amount of money I lay on Tiger winning the Ryder cup for the Americans on the 18th if Kaymer missed that putt: 1,000,545,000,041.

(2nd quarter) 9:00:  RGIII gets sacked in what HAS to be a safety but the refs question whether someone as good as RGIII is capable of such an insult.

  • This falls into neither of the statistics, Rex could certainly get sacked.

(But RGIII “looks good when he strikes out”).

(2) (2nd quarter) 8:10  Bullet across the middle to Josh Morgan causing my Godfather to say “Look at that pass.”  5 SORGIIICD

(1) (2nd Quarter) 7:35 – RGIII makes a touchdown scramble look so easy a caveman could do it.  Redskins 14, Bucs 3.  3 PARG

  • Just the threat of RGIII’s legs totally change the game.

Last Minute of the game#:  RGIII scrambles and manages to be the fastest guy on the field while running at 70% speed.  Gets absolutely laid out in the open and immediately gets up.  6 SORGIIICD

:18 The crowd IN TAMPA BAY starts chanting RGIII.

  • Goosebumps.  All jokes aside about SORGIIICD – has a rookie QB ever had an opposing crowd chant his name on a game winning drive?

:03 –  Billy Cundiff hits a 42 yarder after starting the game 0-3.  RGIII wills the ball through the uprights and wins a game for the Skins 100% on his own.

  • why does Billy Cundiff currently get paid to kick field goals?

So for those of you keeping score at home that was 3 plays above Rex Grossman and 6 Shit only RGIII could do.

Let the RGIII revolution continue.  The future looks promising.

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