In Case You Missed It: Scrabble cheating, Marilyn Monroe sex tape, .627 BAC, Shark attacks, good?

STOP EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING AND WATCH THIS VIDEO:

Alright, are we good? Hello from the middle of nowhere. It’s Monday, isn’t it? Consistently working through weekends really kills my concept of “Monday.” But to the majority of you reading this, today is the first day of a new work week. There’s a lot to- okay seriously can we talk about how cute that video was? The part when the dolphin was swimming in circles around the dog and she was just rotating in place was awesome. And when she wore the life vest? Or how about when she jumped in? Or the nap at the end? Even when the dolphins swam through the wave. Any part with the dog really. Or Dolphins. Really actually that whole video was the best part of the video.

Okay I got a little sidetracked there. Anyway, yet more things happened last week that you probably missed because you’re busy at your job daydreaming about taking your dog to swim with dolphins. But that’s why I’m here and have a whole new Plethora of Links™ that you may or may not find interesting. Of course you should find them interesting unless you’re a god damn philistine.

Science is changing MMA.

How to visualize the U.S. Debt. It’s… a lot.

Woman falls down 15-foot shaft while showering. Enjoy your morning routine tomorrow.

Incoming shark news

Shark attacks are good for business.

That’s it for sharks this week

Google bought travel guide company Frommer’s. I eagerly await their new service that will plan your vacation out for you based on your search history.

The Heisenberg meth menace has been put to rest.

Joe Biden says Romney’s policies will put people “back in chains.” He probably shouldn’t have said that.

3D printers are AWESOME.

I’ll let the article’s title do the explaining: UF scientists find state record 87 eggs in largest python from Everglades.

Atheism is on the rise in the US.

Jean-Claude Van Damme and Kylie Minogue were in their Street Fighter trailer making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

Kenny G is getting a divorce.

The Tonight Show isn’t doing too well.

What happens when you have a .627 BAC.

Mississippi defends Fattest State title. Way to be, Magnolia State.

Even Marilyn Monroe has a sex tape? Are you fucking kidding me? (note to all you reading at work, this is a CBS link)

Calvin & Hobbes Gifs. This one’s for you, McCannon.

I thought Greg Oden wanted to become a dentist.

Lauryn Hill hates paying taxes as much as she hates white people.

$18 million shipment of counterfeit Chinese shoes seized.

Those damn Canadians are taking parking spots at Costco when good ‘ol Americans are trying to shop for 10 lbs of mayonnaise. What vile creatures.

Cheating in the Scrabble National Championship.

Rich guy falls for 3rd oldest trick in the book – can we take pictures of the inside of your Maserati?

Stop bragging on Facebook about how great you are and everything you do is the best. Everyone is the greatest and does the best things.

Stealing weed because it smells good? Yeah. Okay.

Anti-Semite learns he’s Jewish. Irony, thy name is bigotry.

Think you’re safe from lightning in your house? Think again.

Russia does not tolerate dissent. Punk band sentenced to two years in prison.

Getty Images photo archive flipped for $1.9 Billion

No videos this week as I’m in the middle of nowhere and my frustration with the barely-there internet is peaking. Just go watch the dog swimming with dolphins a couple more times. And maybe you’ll actually read an article this week. I know you just skim the headline and go straight to the videos.

I promise I’ll make it up to you next week.

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