In Case You Missed It- Obama Exits the Closet, Hoodies Ruffle Feathers, and Mayans Had Style

1

In case you spent last week at the bottom of the Mariana trench, VP Biden essentially forced President Obama to come out of his supporting gay marriage closet.  Apparently the President’s views have been evolving on this issue for the past couple years, but it seems more likely this was a decision he wanted to postpone till after his presumptive re-election.  Much like past statements to Medvedev about missile defense, this falls under the category of, “After My Election I Have More Flexibility.”Nonetheless, the Pres has run with it and good on him!  Unfortunately when the question is taken to the ballot this is usually the outcome.  People didn’t like integration back in the 60’s either but that doesn’t mean they aren’t ashamed of opposing it now…  or at least should be.

2

A new treasure trove of Mayan ruins was discovered proving that this movie was based off false premises, and that the Mayans had totally kick ass style and could pull off hats way better than than British royalty.

3

Mark Zuckerberg ruffled a few feathers when he arrived on Wall Street wearing a hoodie.  Apparently some of the people who brought us this, just couldn’t believe the laid back CEO who grew a business from a dorm room and who actually added jobs to the economy over the last 5 years wouldn’t conform to their standards.  This hasn’t stopped investment firms from scrambling for the chance to buy into King Zuck.  Speaking of scrambling, the real life and less attractive version of this guy, quickly renounced his U.S. citizenship in order to avoid paying U.S. taxes on his estimated 5% of the Facebook IPO.  My only question is if he can ever get his citizenship back?  Hopefully the fine print at the bottom of the paperwork he signed says, “Don’t ever let me see your punk ass around these parts again.”

4

The Avengers absolutely crushed the box office by combining these with this guy (seriously, what a dreamboat), throwing in some other ass kicking heroes, and some not-so-subtle sexual tension between the Hulk and Ironman.

5

Our nation’s capital mourned a Game 7 Washington Capitals loss to the New York Rangers. Several of Rudy‘s roommates committed ritualistic suicide in response to the insufferably smug aura about him, with the New Jersey Devils advancing farther than the Caps.  Also, Josh Hamilton is a very capable baseball player.

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One comment

  1. Alan

    The President’s track record of “empty promises:action taken” isn’t one to brag about, so despite holding the belief that gay marriage shouldn’t be an issue in 2012 (because it should have happened long ago [seriously, this is the 21st century {hell even more than that since it isn’t like there wasn’t society before christ}]) I’m not as optimistic as I should be.

    And when I was at Chichen Itza a few months ago our tour guide said they expect over 100,000 people to attend the Winter Solstice. That’s going to be a hell of a party out in the jungle.

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