Groomsman Games: Introduction

If you’re reading this blog, there’s a pretty strong chance you know me.  If you know me, there is an even stronger chance that you’ve already heard of the Groomsman Games.  However, for the uninitiated, I’ll start at the very beginning.

I grew up in a house full of women.  I’m the second child of four and the other three are girls.  The situation was so bad that upon finding out that my youngest sibling was yet another girl I threatened – and strongly considered – secession from the family.  Eventually, I chose to stay a member of the tribe but I supplemented my lack of male bonding at home (all due respect to my dad, with whom I bonded plenty) with a strong group of friends.

In hindsight, things could have been a lot worse…

You’ll hear from each of these gentlemen over time but I’ll give you a quick and dirty rundown in the chronological order of our meeting:

Bart: Classmates since the 3rd grade, former roommate.  We have had a tumultuous relationship highlighted by years of verbal abuse, deep philosophical conversations, and me attempting to save his life in a hot tub in Duck, North Carolina.  It turns out that he was just trying to set a personal record for holding his breath under water.

McCannon: Neighbors since the 4th grade, former roommate.  I started out as the nerdy Jewish kid down the street but we really started hanging out when he sold me his used Nintendo 64 games in the 7th grade.  He has spent untold hours in my basement playing Starcraft and I have spent significantly more hours in his basement playing poker.

Rudolph: Neighbors since the 5th grade, former roommate.  I can’t imagine why Rudy kept coming over to my house.  He suffered uncountable wedgies and a surprising number of head injuries that seemed to defy the laws of physics.  It probably had something to do with the fact that my mom kept feeding him.

Clifford: Schoolmates since the 6th grade.  We didn’t hang out much until middle school when we bonded over making fun of McCannon’s laziness and mooching off of his video games and food.  We drink, we talk, we eat, and we never stop ragging on one another.

Alan: Summer camp compadres in the 7th grade.  Alan (Irv) and I have bonded on more subjects than I can count but I would probably start with our mutual love for all things Star Trek (pre Voyager… oh, who am I kidding, we loved Captain Janeway too), our shared torturous obsession with the Washington Redskins, and our experiences bunking together at Lacrosse camp in the 10th grade.

You may not be Kirk or Picard, but you get my warp drive going.

Of course, I’ve buried the lead.  Last August, I got engaged and I’ll get married this summer.  Having no brothers, I had the opportunity to include all five of my longstanding companions to be groomsman in my wedding.  However, I also was left without an obvious choice for best man.  I considered each of their varied skills and assets and weighed that against their overwhelming flaws and shortcomings and decided…what the hell, I’ll make them fight over it.  Just like that, the Groomsman Games were born!

Next up –> Groomsman Games: The Rules

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One comment

  1. Pingback: Groomsman Games: The Rules « The PO Life

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