I Hate My Fucking Friends

Sometimes you just hate people. Those that are raging bitches, or those that are generally unpleasant people.  However, sometimes you are disgusted by those around you the most the most.

Eddy is fucking terrible. Stop spitting in the sink and not cleaning it up so that it hardens and is a permanent part of the bathroom. Is it that hard to turn the water on after hocking a loogie?

Rudy is fucking terrible. How about you have shits worth showing me? We all poop. Impress me for once. Your shit stank. Show me something at the level of what Al produces. He creates monuments.

McCannon is fucking terrible. How have you not been fired after missing work so many times due to oversleeping? Just get up!

Elijah is fucking terrible.  Who bitches about someone owing them $50 when they earn $20k more a year? I guess he lives the hustler lifestyle.

Clifford is fucking terrible.  Terrible for being such a great guy. Seriously, who serves their country multiple times? That is just great. America – Fuck Yeah.

Kyle is fucking terrible.  Every time we go to a concert, I can’t see because of your big head. You even put Tommy Pickles to shame.

Al is the worst. Who posts passive aggressive messages on a blog about other people on the blog? The worst.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen. I wanted to have my first post as an introduction into why I hate (and love) everything. We have been through a lot over the years, you and I.  But enough of the reminiscing.  Let’s not have a moral at the end of this story like every episode of Friends. Let’s end on a note of general disdain. I will be aggressive. I will be ignorant. I might even surprise you with an intellectual thought. But never, and I mean never, tell me not to order a double baconator when I go to Wendy’s.



  1. Pingback: That Time My Doctor Pitched My Tent « The PO Life

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